sentimental

made a trip back to VJ today to meet althea and rochelle. too bad i didn’t bring my camera. it always feels different everytime i’m back, really miss school. when i stepped in there was a floorball game going on teachers vs floorball girls. mr najib asked me to join’em, but i was in a totally non-sporty attire so i just rotted in the canteen for about 2 hours. had 10 people coming up to me asking me why i’m back. chatted abit with the hockey boys and chester and jeremy cos they were all sitting around/having training. too bad hockey girls weren’t in school. OKAY DON’T ASK ME WHY I’M NARRATING MY TRIP BACK, i just miss school so much everything seemed so… so fun in school!

cny was a good get-together with some people too. saw cousins whom i’ll see every once a year (lol), had a little bit of catch up with sheng over andersons ice cream, and met up with our half too at dennis’ place.  LOVELY PLACE, i’ll let pictures do the talking!

meet bullet. i dont really like cats but this one got my attention. SO CUTE RIGHT. it was drifting around the house with droopy eyes, like how dennis does so in school. HAHA.

these 2 totally like, long lost mates. thats lucy btw, super cute too !

yipee. so cute!

there’s still buddy (a mongrel), sunshine & cookie & muffin (his other 3 cats), see more photos on my facebook yo!

time to work!

health issues

my gastric area is having the exact same kinda weird, bloat-ish, crammy feeling i had months ago when i suffered a relapse. please, not again. it’s kinda scary. and my thermometer is spoilt so i threw it away. no chance of knowing whether i’m running a 0.2 degree fever (fever is a sure sign of infection – even if its just a little temperature) sigh sigh sigh. body, can you be well again? my body’s been giving me crap since june. since the dubai trip. i’d say maybe it’s the lack of hockey (but no chance- i’m dancing now). or lack of sun. or lack of sleep. or all 3 together. whatever.

but if you can, please drop me a prayer. and i need someone to force me to sleep by 12am. hur. this is not good at all……….. body’s giving me hell and i’m dancing almost everyday now. WHAAAAT.

i need my immunity back ):

note to self

what kind of generation am i building here?

self-centred, self-absorbed, achievement chasers, pleasure seekers, nua people…….?
No.

i am building God’s people. a disciplined generation. a kingdom-minded generation. a generation with quality, with character, with compassion.

and reality check…. it starts with myself.

before anything can change, before God can move anything, i need to grow first. i need to be disciplined. i need to grow in love. i need to allow God to mould me first.

God? don’t pass me by.

Kingdom-centredness

my heart is filled with complaints tonight. even though the stress, the workload… is rather similar to what i’ve encountered before, but i’m facing them all with a different kind of attitude. or perspective. i think its a stage of life kinda thing. one year ago at this time, i was worried about school work, tournaments, training, rehearsals…. one year later at this moment, i’m loaded with dance trainings (though i’m not exactly complaining about that =p – its the physical tiredness), worrying about future directions, and to serve God and serve people in a school i no longer belong – it’s a different challenge. ok maybe i should rephrase myself: i’m not complaining, but i’m nervous, uncertain, worried that … probably this isn’t a good idea at all. me? You sure God? me? not the other person beside me, but me?

but God never makes mistakes. God called me. 2 options: i answer it and move along with Him, or i run away and well… what has to be done has to be done, so God sends another person to do it. the person beside me maybe. but i don’t want to miss it at all, i don’t want to run away from God’s best for me. there’s no better time than now. there’s never a perfect time, never a time when “i’m ready”. i can wait.. but that time will never come. i can wait…….. 2 months… 2 years… 4 years… but imagine the kind of delay i’ll cause the Kingdom. 2 years, or even 2 months- SO MUCH can be done!

because my life is just not my own now. on that day when i said “Yes Jesus, i’ll follow You”, it was a seal of commitment, of obedience, of surrender to God. so the big picture… is not just me. the focus is never on me: i can’t do this, i’m stressed, i’m weak, i don’t think i can…….. but the focus is on God. God can, God will, God wants to, God is… what is the promise in philippians 4:13 for right? you can’t, yeah sure of course you can’t. but whats the deal? you have a God who can and who wants to.

so God, i need to keep my focus on You. i am weak, my abilities are severely limited, i am mere human, i am imperfect. but i want to keep my eyes on You. i want to go back to You in everything i do. i want to always remember why i do what i do. i don’t want to run the race aimlessly, i don’t want to do it because everyone around me is doing it. i gotta keep my focus right. i gotta set my heart right, not withstanding even the slightest threat of it swaying away. i gotta set my eyes on eternity, on Your purpose for me.

God, its a You + me equation. if either part is missing it just won’t be a complete equation.

kingdom-purpose, kingdom-centredness, kingdom-focus. how important.

always, back to You.

heart issues

i should refrain from posting too-emotional posts, but something in my heart hurts, quite painfully, when i’m brooding over this particular topic. a good 11 days into 2009, and while i’m excited about all things happening this year, one part of my heart hangs heavy about this. partly i know it’s my fault, my lack of understanding, my nonchalance at times, i think i seriously suck as a friend. as a good friend at that. sigh.

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anyway, in response to shirley’s “Have you Starbucked with Jesus today?” challenge from yesterday’s sermon, i’ll personalise it. not forgetting God’s constant reminders of “waiting upon Him” as i ended 2008. God knows me through and through without a doubt. this year won’t be good without a partnership with Him. yeah babe, go chia.