good afternoon mooozy monday

an absolutely random attempt at alliteration. failed. hahaha.

I’m just done with the boys over flowers ost. yes i was listening to EVERY single song that dabs sent me (my nicname for debbie ) we are fanatics! haha okay no, i. i am. kpop is beginning to grow on me… and i don’t understand the lyrics, at all!! yay!

will blog about LC soon. it was awesome + the pre LC fun where we all went crazy. i miss everyone now! boohoosz.

lessons on humility

once you begin to think that you’ve gone through alot, you know alot, you’ve learnt enough…

or you begin to shut your ears to other people’s opinions… or corrections, or feedback…

and you think people should totally take your opinions on the matter

that’s it, you’re going down

10 things I absolutely Love

1. black and white photography (& clicking away on my camera!) and lomography (okay, all to do with cameras)

2. chilling at the airport with a cuppa java chip frap. alone.
okay i know we all study at the airport… but when i’m not studying there, it’s my favourite place to escape to

3. travelling!! i lurrrvvveeeee going to places! and experiencing new cultures, all that!

4. sipping hot milo and watching super addictive jap/korean/taiwanese dramas in front of my comp… haha

5. receiving cards – i’m hopelessly a words person

6. making and designing gifts/presents/cards for people. recently i discovered a new found love and passion for crafts and designing, albeit being very noob at it still

7. hanging out with the people who matter

8. spontaneous karaoke and movie sessions

9. kinder bueno. omg, anytime, anywhere!!

10.  hanging out with my Maker and singing to Him

 

i feel like i’m falling asleep now, my life can finally resume to normalcy after 1 gruelling week of trying to finish watching boys before flowers. yes yes don’t worry all you, i’m working very well in curbing my fangirl side and stop it from surfacing. hahaha though i have to say, my favourite is kim hyun joong!! (he plays hanazawa rui. actually he’s just another pretty boy la) and kim bum. just thought that out of the 3 versions i watched, the korean one is the best so far (you’ll realise that hana yori dango is OKAY and meteor garden is pure disgusting).

okay! anyways…. chia passed my driving today and im a proud member of the one time club (according to my brother) YEAH!!!

Go for it

i appreciate mentors who give me space, time and belief to try out something new, not do so well at it, then improve from it and build it up bit by bit.

just last friday at dance class, choonhui gave us a couple of eights to freestyle before our actual routine. for some reason i was feeling quite gung-ho that day so i tried out some moves (that i watched from online videos but never had the courage or the avenue to try out, but you know, the steps are just stuck in my head). we did the entire piece 3 times, 3 times i tried different moves for the free style, and out of these 3 times i fumbled and stumbled 2 times. but it didn’t get me down. in fact, it made me realise what i could do and what i had to improve on.

just a little more balance at this part.

not to swing my legs too fast at that part.

the parts where i stumbled were really quite cringeable, especially when you’re standing at the first row out of 30 people in the class and the full length mirrors reflect everything you just did.

on my birthday, i did something unthinkable too. it was one of the most cringe-able moments in my life, the ones where when you recall you feel like putting a veil on those images of memories because it’s too painful to look at or think about. in my dictionary, i classify those memories as disgusting. my leaders were there, my caregroup was there, and i can’t even remember exactly what i talked about. but that night was one of the sleepless nights i had, because i felt utterly disgusted with myself and i couldn’t come to terms with it.

now that i look back at that saturday, i am so glad i shared (for the first time, at that). i am so glad i talked about those convictions from the bottom of my heart. the words definitely didn’t come out the way obama would have inspired the americans, but whether i was such a good speaker or not doesn’t matter. the challenges i issued, the promises i made, it came out, and i won’t take it back. after some evaluation with jasmine, i had to calm myself down and at some point needed to scold myself, hey, it wasn’t that bad, is it?

i had to struggle with some low self-esteem and low confidence issues, and even more with the oh-so-high expectations i set for myself. cmon, all of us don’t start out a Choonhui or Ryan, neither do we start out an inspiring speaker or a great worship leader. i’m sure all of those people i know of, had their cringe-able moments too. it must have surely taken some serious hard work, courage to face up to disappointments, guts to evaluate the work done, confidence to move on, and among all these, countless disgusting moments before they are where they are today.

i will definitely choose to move on. those disgusting moments mould me, i should learn to discover what could have been done better, take a laugh at mistakes made, then MOVE ON! if everyone gave up just because their first times didn’t go well, what a waste it would have been. all that undiscovered potential….

just one thought that made me do the both things i mentioned above: if i don’t do it now, when?

sometimes we just need to deny those voices in our heads:

you can never do it.
don’t try it, the rest are so good, you’ll just be humiliating yourself in front of them.
you’re not ready for it yet, not now, the next time okay?

if i’m gonna squander my opportunity to go for it, i’m not gonna be given a chance to grow from it and go another time. there’s never a next time or a time when i am more prepared for it. next times will never come. i have no idea when will be the next class where we’ll have time to seriously consider some freestyling, i have no idea when will be the next time i’ll be able to find time to gather a bunch of busy JC kids, sit them down and talk about serious stuff like that.

there’s never room for failure, only room for improvement. doing something wrong, making a mistake, missing out an important detail etc all these aren’t the formula for failure. they just mean, you’ve done it, it can be better, MAKE IT BETTER THE NEXT TIME ROUND! the only formula for failure that i know of, is when i fail to even give it a shot and deny myself a chance to learn. imagine everything else is in place, you are the deciding factor, but you decide to back out of the deal, then there is absolutely no deal at all. (what’s the use if i have the best dance studio, the best sound system, the best choreographer, the clearest mirrors, but i don’t make use of them? they are just there for the sake of being there, then.)

i was very sure, from the look on choonhui’s face and her encouragement for me after that, she appreciated me trying out the stuff. despite my clumsiness, of course (:

won’t all mentors appreciate such acts too?

updates

1) we did so many head flicking moves during adrian’s class the other day that my neck is really sore now. even my throat area!

2) did a bit of hitting under the hot sun yesterday. yes, i am still scared of balls and i am so loser that i refused to hit with annabelle. but i miss hockey!

3) watched the girls’ quarter finals with NJ. 2-0 with very pretty deflections for both goals. their jerseys are really blinding under the hot sun. i suspect its a plan to blind the opponents during the game

4) left my ic at the guard house in school. SIGH.

5) i love my caregroup!!

today’s caregroup was funnn! zhengkai was cracking us up every 5 to 10 mins with his random comments and actions anddddddd the guys are really smelly. OKAY SORRY NO PERSONAL ATTACKS ALRIGHT, not the guys, the shoes. hahaha. okay the feet =x *cringes nose. we actually made them spray deodorant onto their feet. the 2 smells mixed together…. was horrid. hahaha. there was this funny smell hanging in YINLING’S ROOM for a while. poor girl.

6) the ex-cch guys have been trained up quite well ever since the last i saw them (in sec4). that’s all i’m willing to say. hahaha.

7) i had driving evaluation today… let’s not talk about it =x

still amazed by God’s grace (:

9) (koped from kim’s blog) kelvin lim’s (or isit lee?) photog is absolutely amazing and stunning

10) i am going to start on an exercise and stretching regime to get back my flexibility and strength for contemp

 

on a side note, i received TWO journals/notebooks on my birthday to add on to my already-collecting-dust-pile-of-journal-collection in my shelf. my sentence is grammatically wrong but i don’t care. i need to sleep now. thank you hockey ppl for the amazing surprise (at town!!), thank you my dear caregroup for the lovely album and notes… thank you in advance to my cl caregroup for the gift you’re getting me. HAHA. im so thick skin. zzz. goodnight.

this post is so nonsense.